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Building Real Estate Wealth in Small Markets Using Private Lenders


Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@InvestorMelDaveDupuis 

“Raising Private Money Like A Pro: $2m In Just A Few Months!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epb08dAiKDs 

For new and experienced real estate investors alike, the challenge of finding funding is one of the biggest obstacles to growing a profitable portfolio. If you’ve ever wondered how some investors manage to raise millions in private money, without begging banks or feeling desperate in front of lenders, you’ll want to pay close attention to the strategies shared by Jay Conner, known as the “Private Money Authority.” Recently, Jay joined seasoned investor couple Mel and Dave Dupuis for an in-depth discussion about the art and science of raising private capital for real estate deals.

Overcoming the “Bank Said No” Club

Jay’s real estate journey began traditionally, with bank financing. But in 2009, when his banker abruptly cut off his line of credit, Jay was forced into what he calls the “club of being told no by the bank.” Many investors find themselves here: good credit, a history of successful deals, but suddenly, institutional partners slam the door shut. For Jay, this so-called setback was the doorway to a better way: raising private money from individuals.

What Exactly is Private Money?

Private money, as Jay explains, is funds lent by individuals (not institutions) who are looking for secure, high-yield investment opportunities. Unlike hard money lenders, who often charge hefty fees and high rates, private lenders can be ordinary people—friends, acquaintances, or referrals—looking to invest their savings or retirement funds through self-directed IRAs.

Jay’s “Secret Sauce” to Raising Millions (Without Ever Begging)

Here’s where Jay’s approach is both counterintuitive and powerful: He never asks anyone for money. That’s right. Instead of pitching deals or putting on the hard sell, Jay puts on his “teacher hat” and educates potential private lenders about the opportunity to earn attractive, safe returns by acting as the bank. He keeps the educational conversation separate from any specific asks or deals.

The process goes like this:

  1. Teach, Don’t Pitch: Jay hosts one-on-one conversations or small luncheons to explain how private lending works, what kinds of returns they can expect, and how their investment is secured.
  2. Let Them Volunteer: By the end of the conversation, prospective lenders often tell him how much they have available to invest, sometimes even moving retirement savings into a self-directed IRA.
  3. The “Good News Call”: Once a suitable deal comes along, Jay updates his new lender with a simple call: “I have good news! I can put your $150,000 to work on a house in Newport next Wednesday.” He explains the terms, closing date, and logistics—but crucially, he never “asks” for the money. The lender has already expressed their interest and is waiting for the opportunity.

This approach eliminates desperation, builds trust, and positions Jay as a partner and educator, not a salesperson.

How Jay Protects His Private Lenders

A major reason people hesitate to lend is concern about risk and security. Jay addresses this upfront:

  • Each loan is secured by a deed of trust (mortgage) on the property, just like a bank loan.
  • Maximum loan-to-value is 75% of the after-repair value, not the purchase price, ensuring enough equity for safety.
  • Private lenders are named as mortgagees on insurance policies and as additional insureds on title policies.
  • Loans are set up with conservative timelines (typically two years), so extensions or surprises are rare.
  • Most importantly, if Jay ever fails to pay, the property itself secures the lender’s investment.

From Scarcity to Abundance—Building Your Lender Network

Jay’s network now includes dozens of private lenders—none of whom had ever heard of “private lending” before meeting him. As he continues to perform, satisfied lenders often ask to invest even more. That’s how a $30,000 loan can quickly become a $200,000 relationship—sometimes with nothing more than the right question at payoff time.

Your Next Steps

Whether you’re a new investor daunted by raising capital or a seasoned pro looking for a better system, Jay Conner’s approach proves that trust, education, and solid systems will attract more funding than hard selling ever could. Focus on serving, protecting, and teaching your lenders, and the money will come—no begging required.

Want to learn more? Jay offers his book, “Where to Get the Money Now,” packed with practical details, and Mel and Dave’s podcast episode has even more tips. Ready to leave the “Bank Said No” club? Start building your private lender network today!

10 Discussion Questions from this Episode:

  1. Jay Conner describes how he was able to raise over $2 million in private money funding in under ninety days without ever directly asking anyone for money. What do you think are the key elements of his “secret sauce” approach?
  2. The episode highlights the importance of educating potential private lenders rather than pitching deals or sounding desperate. Why do you think this educational approach is so effective in building trust and attracting investors?
  3. Both Jay and the hosts mention being unexpectedly shut down by banks and how this pushed them towards private money and creative financing. How would you handle a similar situation if your access to traditional funding suddenly disappeared?
  4. Jay mentions that he operates in a very small market (Morehead City, NC) but still achieves significant profits per deal. How does investing in a smaller or less competitive market change the strategies and opportunities for real estate investors?
  5. The protection of private lenders seems essential in Jay’s model, such as using deeds of trust, conservative loan-to-value ratios, and insurance policies. Which of these protections do you find most reassuring, and why?
  6. Jay and Mel discuss overcoming the fear that new investors often have about borrowing other people’s money. What strategies or mindsets can help people get comfortable with leveraging private funds?
  7. The episode talks about “never pitching a deal,” but instead, separating the education of the private lending program from presenting actual deals. How might this change the dynamic between you and a potential investor?
  8. Jay emphasizes always raising capital before securing deals, contrary to the advice, “just get the property under contract and the money will show up.” What are the pros and cons of each approach?
  9. The listeners learn about the importance of establishing relationships with self-directed IRA companies for attracting private lenders using retirement funds. What are some advantages and potential challenges to this strategy?
  10. Jay mentions that, often, private lenders have more capital than they initially disclose, and simple questions can lead to more substantial investments. What steps can investors take to nurture and expand relationships with existing private lenders?

Fun facts that were revealed in the episode: 

  1. Small Town, Big Profits: Jay Conner operates his real estate investing business in Morehead City, North Carolina— a town with only 8,000 people— yet his average profit per house deal is an impressive $82,000. He proves you don’t have to live in a big city to make big money in real estate!
  2. $2 Million in 90 Days—Without Asking for Money: Jay raised over $2.1 million in private money in less than 90 days and claims he’s never actually asked anyone directly for money. Instead, he focuses on educating potential lenders about the opportunities, leading with a “teacher’s hat.”
  3. Creative Financing Across Borders: Hosts Mel and Dave have purchased over 250 units in five different countries (Canada, the US, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, and Costa Rica) using creative financing strategies and private funds, showing that thinking outside the box can take your investments around the globe!

Timestamps:

00:01 Profitable Real Estate in Small Market

03:55 Investing in Outlying Real Estate

07:44 Private Lending with Self-Directed IRAs

10:52 Private Lending Program Pitch

15:58 Protecting Private Lenders

18:21 Private Lender Mortgage Protection Explained

21:06 Quick Property Turnaround Strategy

23:48 The Money Comes  First in Real Estate

28:22 Investment Increase Inquiry

32:42 Consistent Leads Crucial for Success

33:48  Where to Get the Money Now!

38:05 Creative Real Estate Funding Insights






Private Money Academy Conference:

https://www.JaysLiveEvent.com

Free Report:

https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport

Join the Private Money Academy: 

https://www.JayConner.com/trial/

Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?

It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at

https://www.JayConner.com/Book 

What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner

https://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.

What is Real Estate Investing? Live Private Money Academy Conference

https://youtu.be/QyeBbDOF4wo

YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/private-money-academy-real-estate-investing-with-jay/id1377723034

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing

Listen to our Podcast:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2025961/episodes/17303270-building-real-estate-wealth-in-small-markets-using-private-lenders

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