Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/@AlNicoletti
“Private Money Funding with Jay Conner”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXzYTlhntR8&t=222s
If you’ve spent any time in real estate investing, you know that access to reliable funding is what separates consistent winners from those who just get by. For many, the quest for money leads straight to traditional banking institutions, only to be faced with endless red tape, restricted lines of credit, and mountains of paperwork. But there’s a smarter path, one that puts you in the driver’s seat: private money.
Jay Conner, affectionately known as The Private Money Authority, joined Al Nicoletti on The Al Nicoletti Show to break down the steps, strategies, and mindset shifts that can empower any real estate investor to thrive using private funding. He lays out, with decades of experience, why private money works and how just about anyone can tap into it—no matter their market, background, or connections.
At its core, private money means working directly with individuals instead of hard money lenders or banks. These are people—often those you already know—looking for stable, attractive returns on their capital. They might be tired of unpredictable market swings and low yields in their retirement accounts. The real difference in this funding style is that you, the investor, get to set the terms: interest rates, payment schedules, loan duration, and more, all tailored to create a win-win relationship.
Control is the biggest advantage of using private money. When you work with institutional lenders, they set the ground rules. They decide how much you can borrow, under what terms, and often with unnecessary limits on your potential. With private money, that script is flipped. Investors can borrow 100%—even beyond the property’s purchase price to cover rehab, carrying costs, and more. Structured properly, this means you can walk away from closing with excess cash in hand, ready to fuel multiple projects.
This flexibility is a game-changer not just for seasoned investors, but especially for those just starting. While creative strategies like subject-to or seller financing are often discussed, the reality is that most sellers want all-cash offers. Having private money lined up allows you to compete for the large majority of deals where cash is king.
Jay Conner’s approach is all about education rather than pitching. Instead of desperately chasing funds, he recommends teaching potential private lenders about the safety, security, and predictability of private lending opportunities—often using self-directed IRAs. Most people aren’t aware they can use their retirement funds to invest in real estate and earn reliable, above-market returns, tax-deferred or even tax-free. Positioning yourself as a resource for education, not just a beneficiary of their funds, attracts interest and trust.
Interestingly, Jay never brings a deal to a potential lender right away. Instead, he focuses on developing relationships, sharing how the process works, and allowing the conversation to spark curiosity. By the time he calls with a specific opportunity, the private lender is eager to participate, not being “sold” on anything.
Another vital point is that private money lending is not just for single-family fix and flips. Once the mechanics are understood, it can be used for small apartments, duplexes, triplexes, quadplexes, and land. The versatility increases deal flow and diversifies opportunities.
The path to building private lender relationships begins with your warm market: people you already know and who trust you. Jay’s strategies include both direct and “indirect” approaches, such as asking for referrals or help rather than outright pitching for capital. The goal is always to serve, not sell—educate, not pressure.
In today’s digital world, leveraging social media can multiply reach and credibility. While technology helps, consistency in education and presence make the biggest difference. Jay emphasizes delegating technical tasks, so you stay focused on relationships and deal-making.
Jay’s final advice for any investor: Simplify the process, secure your funding first, and find a mentor early to avoid costly mistakes. Confidence comes from knowing you have capital ready; deals become easier and more profitable when you remove funding anxiety from the equation.
For those eager to dive deeper, Jay freely shares a downloadable guide to get started on the path to mastering private money and accelerating wealth-building in any market. The future doesn’t belong to those who wait for banks to lend—it belongs to those who master private money.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode:
- Jay Conner emphasizes teaching over pitching when it comes to attracting private lenders. Why do you think this “teach, don’t pitch” approach is more effective in building relationships with potential private lenders?
- How did Jay Conner’s experience with losing access to traditional bank loans push him toward private money, and what lessons can real estate investors draw from his story?
- Private money puts investors in control of terms like interest rate, payment schedule, and loan-to-value. What are some potential risks and rewards of having this control versus working with institutions?
- Jay Conner highlights the role of self-directed IRAs. How do these accounts offer additional flexibility or advantages for both investors and lenders?
- Discuss why focusing on “serving” rather than “selling” is so important in raising private money, according to Jay Conner. How does this mindset impact investor-lender relationships?
- Jay Conner mentioned structuring deals with no monthly payments as an attractive benefit for investors. What are the possible advantages and drawbacks of accruing interest or making interest-only payments?
- In the context of Jay Conner’s strategies, how has social media changed the landscape for finding both deals and private lenders in real estate?
- Why do you think so few people—and even financial planners—know about self-directed IRAs for real estate investments, as Jay Conner claims?
- Jay Conner recommends working with mentors and not going into the business alone. What role can mentorship play in successfully starting a real estate investing career?
- After hearing Jay Conner’s explanation of his process, what do you see as the biggest barriers to getting started with private money, and which steps would you personally find most challenging?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- Jay Conner operates his real estate business in a very small market of just 40,000 people, but still manages to achieve impressive average profits of $71,000 per fix-and-flip deal.
- When Jay Conner was cut off from traditional bank funding in 2009, he successfully pivoted to private money, raising over $2 million in less than 90 days by teaching (not pitching) his private lending program to people in his network.
- Jay Conner has amassed a remarkable 44 private lenders who fund his deals, proving you can build a substantial network of private financiers even without relying on institutional money or hard money lenders.
Timestamps:
00:00 Real Estate Insights with Jay
09:47 Private Money Lending Basics
11:37 Mindset for Private Lending Success
18:16 Private Money Real Estate Loans
25:05 Private Money Lending Insights
32:17 IRS-Approved Self-Directed IRAs
38:47 Pitching Stress-Free Investing Program
43:59 Framing Investment Advice for Retirees
48:05 Social Media Assistance Matters
55:12 Hot Markets and Social Media
01:00:33 Find and Learn From Mentors
01:02:11 Teach, Don’t Pitch Principles
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at
https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
https://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.
What is Real Estate Investing? Live Private Money Academy Conference
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https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner
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