***Guest Appearance
Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQUXwHjkT-0&t=250s
“How to Raise Private Money for Real Estate Deals (w/ Jay Conner) [TJP Ep29].”
https://www.youtube.com/@Thejourneypod/
On a recent episode of the Raising Private Money podcast, real estate investing heavyweight Jay Conner sat down with Leo Young for a wide-ranging discussion about the critical art of raising private money. Their conversation illuminated not just the mechanics of private funding in real estate, but also the mindsets and systems that lead to sustainable, scalable success. Whether you’re a seasoned investor or just getting started, this episode offered a masterclass in funding strategy.
Transforming Obstacles into Opportunity
Jay Conner has built an impressive reputation over two decades, rehabbing over 500 homes and transacting more than $100 million in deals. But his journey took a pivotal turn after the 2008 financial crash, when traditional banks pulled his credit lines, and he was forced to rethink his approach. This adversity led him to discover the power of private money—a strategy that allowed him, within just 90 days, to raise over $2 million in new capital, entirely free from the restrictions and demands of banks or credit.
For Jay, the transition to private money wasn’t just about survival; it became the defining catalyst for his long-term business growth and transformed the way he looked at real estate investing as a whole. He attributes his ability to consistently close deals—never missing out for lack of funds—to building and nurturing relationships with private lenders.
Debunking the Myth: “The Money Will Show Up”
A recurring theme in the conversation was Jay’s frustration with the tired real estate trope that if you lock down a good deal, the money will magically appear. Both Jay and Leo agreed that this advice is not only unhelpful but also sets up new investors for unnecessary stress. Instead, Jay advocates for flipping this narrative: get the capital lined up before you hunt for deals. This approach gives investors confidence, negotiating power, and the ability to make offers rapidly, which is crucial in competitive markets.
There’s more capital available—especially post-2020—than there are viable real estate deals. That means investors who proactively build relationships with private lenders hold a significant edge.
A Mindset Shift: From Borrower to Opportunity Provider
Jay discussed the crucial mental shift he made—and now teaches others—which is moving from a mentality of “asking for a loan” to “offering an opportunity.” For most people, the default is to assume that the person with the money makes all the rules. Jay turned this on its head by taking control: setting terms, acting as his own underwriter, and educating potential private lenders about the benefits and security they receive by investing in his projects.
He views his role as more of a teacher than a beggar or persuader. Most of his 47 private lenders didn’t even know what private lending was until he introduced them to the concept. His approach is methodical and based on service—helping regular people put their “lazy money” (funds sitting idle) to work at attractive, secured returns.
Separation of Offer and Deal
A key nuance in Jay’s approach is the importance of separating the conversation about the general private lending opportunity from discussing specific deals. He recommends educating potential lenders about the overall offering first. Once they’re on board, only then does he bring them individual deals that meet strict criteria—never asking them outright if they want to fund, but presenting the funding of the deal as the “good news” they’ve been waiting for. This method allows him to close with confidence and maintain strong relationships.
Systems and Automation for Scale
Jay’s business isn’t just about hustle; it’s about smart systems. With a lean team, he leverages automation and specialized software (like REI Software) to handle lead intake, communication, and deal management. From the AI-powered assistant that gathers property information to processes that feed leads smoothly to his acquisitions team, Jay has built an operation where the heavy lifting is shared across efficient tools and people.
Never Stop Growing Your Network
Jay outlined three main sources for private lenders: people you already know, referrals from your expanded warm network (including business networking groups like BNI), and existing private lenders found through self-directed IRA networking. For new investors, starting with their own contacts is key, but as you scale, tapping into broader circles becomes essential.
Servant Leadership Drives Results
The essence of Jay’s philosophy is building relationships and leading with value. Instead of chasing money, he positions himself as an educator, helping potential lenders see how they can benefit. This approach doesn’t just work—it opens doors and creates lasting partnerships.
For anyone looking to supercharge their real estate investing and break free from the constraints of traditional financing, the lessons from Jay Conner and Leo Young’s conversation are clear: shift your mindset, build your systems, lead as a teacher, and always have your capital lined up before you make your next move.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode:
- Jay Conner emphasizes the importance of “lining up the money first” before finding real estate deals. How does this approach differ from the typical advice given to new investors, and what are the practical implications?
- What mindset shift does Jay Conner believe is crucial for successful private money raising, and how does he recommend new investors adopt this mindset?
- Jay Conner mentions that most of his private lenders never heard of private lending or self-directed IRAs before he educated them. What strategies does he use to teach potential lenders about these opportunities?
- How does Jay Conner recommend separating the conversation about the lending opportunity from specific deals, and why does he consider this separation important?
- In the episode, Jay Conner shares a script for the “good news phone call” when offering a deal to a private lender. How does this conversation structure help secure funding, and what key psychological elements are at play?
- Jay Conner talks about providing security to private lenders through asset-backed debt. What protections does he offer to his lenders, and how do these compare to other forms of real estate financing?
- The episode describes the use of automation and AI (Bailey, the AI assistant) in Jay Conner’s business. How does technology enhance efficiency in sourcing, managing, and closing real estate deals?
- Jay Conner divides private lender sources into three categories: people you know, your expanded network (like BNI), and existing private lenders. How should investors approach each of these groups differently?
- What are the potential risks or downsides of using private money for real estate investing, according to the episode? How does Jay Conner address or mitigate these risks?
- Jay Conner stresses not coming from a place of desperation and presenting private lending as a service and opportunity. How does this attitude affect investor-lender relationships, and what can other real estate professionals learn from this approach?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- Private Money Is Versatile
Jay Conner explains that private money isn’t just for single-family homes—it can be used for multifamily, mobile home parks, and even land deals, provided the structure fits the project’s needs. - He Raised $2 Million in 90 Days—Without Banks.
After the 2008 crash cut off his traditional lines of credit, Jay Conner discovered private money and raised over $2 million within just 90 days without using his credit, banks, or personal guarantees. - Desperation Has a Smell
A key lesson from Jay Conner: when seeking private money, it’s better to offer education about the opportunity rather than pitch both the deal and the money at once—otherwise, “desperation has a smell to it”.
Timestamps:
00:00 Discovering private money for deals
06:28 The pressure of quick investment decisions
07:16 Starting with the right mindset
10:19 Describing investment and lazy money
13:40 Private lending opportunity setup
18:12 Private lenders and loan modifications
22:26 Setting up a fund for investment
24:38 Hiring experts for the job
28:02 Property evaluation and repair budgeting
31:12 Effective strategy for raising money
35:38 Finding private real estate lenders
37:15 Balancing investor and personal goals
40:07 Raising more private money
43:02 Download Jay’s free money guide
Free Report:
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What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
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Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.
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