***Guest Appearance
Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/@drsusiecarder
“From Bank Puppet to Private Money Powerhouse: Jay Conner on Raising Millions Without Asking”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clTxDN_uI4I&t=127s
Have you ever dreamed of building a seven-figure real estate empire—without ever begging a bank? For many entrepreneurs, financial constraints and fear of rejection keep them from scaling their wealth strategies, especially when it comes to real estate. In a recent episode of the Raising Private Money podcast, Dr. Susie Carder sat down with Jay Conner—the “Private Money Authority”—to break down exactly how you can crack the code on creative finance and raise the capital you need, even if you’re just starting.
Flip the Script on Funding
Jay’s journey didn’t start glamorously. Back in 2003, he did things the hard way: big down payments, painful fees, and personal guarantees. Like many, he depended entirely on the bank—until the 2008 crash changed everything.
Instead of quitting, Jay asked himself one key question: “Who do you know that can help fix your problem?” That single question laid the groundwork for his pivot into the world of private money—a move that ultimately helped him raise over $2.1 million in just a few months.
The Private Money Mindset
So what exactly is private money? There’s a lot of confusion around the term—many associate it with hard money loans, but as Jay clarifies, private money comes from individuals, not institutions. “A private money lender is a human being, just like you and me, who loans money to real estate investors either from their investment capital or retirement funds,” Jay explained. In contrast, hard money lenders are brokers who pool private dollars into a fund and then loan it back out at much higher rates and fees.
The real breakthrough? Stop asking for loans and start offering opportunities. The first step, Jay says, is to “own the real estate between your ears”—adopt the right mindset. You become a teacher, not a beggar. Lead with value, educate your network, and never make a desperate plea for funds. “Desperation has a smell to it,” Jay warned.
The Teaching Approach to Attracting Money
Jay’s approach is refreshingly simple: teach, don’t pitch.
- Build Your Program: Have a clear process and attractive returns for your lenders.
- Teach First: Focus on educating people about how they can earn high yields safely by lending in real estate—without ever tying the lesson to a specific deal in the beginning.
- Separate Education from Deals: Don’t lead a conversation with a funding request; first, get them excited and informed.
- Make the Good News Call: Once someone’s ready and has funds available, only then present a deal that fits the program they already understand and want.
One of Jay’s first private money conversations happened at Bible study. Rather than asking for cash, he asked a well-connected friend to refer anyone frustrated with low bank returns. Within minutes, that friend wanted to invest himself—and doubled his commitment by the next day, simply because he understood the opportunity.
Automate and Scale
The true power in Jay’s system isn’t just in raising money—it’s in setting up a business that doesn’t own your life. By focusing on the activities he loves (teaching, decision-making, and marketing experimentation) and outsourcing the rest, Jay runs a multimillion-dollar business in under 10 hours a week. The right CRM, virtual assistants, and team members make it possible.
Your Legacy and Impact
Jay’s play isn’t just about money; it’s about lasting impact. As he reflects, “Enough is never enough when it’s not about you.” Whether supporting charities or teaching others, he embodies a servant heart—helping others achieve both financial returns and life freedom.
Ready to Raise Private Money?
If Jay can do it, so can you. Start with mindset, step into your teacher hat, structure your offers, and focus on relationships over transactions. Want more? Grab Jay’s book “Where to Get the Money Now” at jayconner.com/book and check out his podcast, Raising Private Money.
Stop waiting for a bank’s approval—your empire is waiting for you to teach, steward, and succeed.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode
- What mindset shift did the guest recommend as the foundational first step for raising private money, and why is this shift so critical to success?
- How did the 2008 financial crisis serve as a turning point in the guest’s real estate investing career, and what lessons can entrepreneurs learn from that experience?
- In what ways does “private money” differ from “hard money,” and what are the advantages and disadvantages of each approach?
- Why does the guest insist on never asking directly for money when raising private capital, and what techniques does he use instead to attract investors?
- According to the episode, what are some key components to include in your private money program when educating potential lenders?
- How does separating the education conversation from the funding request help avoid the appearance of desperation and lead to stronger results?
- What are the critical numbers and formulas used to determine a good real estate deal when using private money, and how do those calculations change depending on the price range?
- Can you explain—using your own words—the concept of buying a property “subject to” the existing note, and in what situations is this strategy most beneficial?
- What was the guest’s process for automating his business so that he could work less than 10 hours a week, and what lessons can attendees apply to their own ventures?
- In the episode’s closing, the guest spoke about his legacy and motivation for continued work. How does having a larger purpose beyond personal wealth impact business decisions and fulfillment?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- “No Begging Banks” Philosophy: The main guest built a seven-figure real estate empire after 2008 without ever relying on traditional bank financing again. He famously told his bank, “Bless your heart,” and engineered a system to raise millions in private money—without asking for it directly!
- The Bible Study Lender: One of the guest’s first private money lenders was recruited at a Wednesday night Bible study. By simply asking this well-connected friend for referrals—rather than asking for money—he sparked enough interest to land a half-million-dollar commitment after sharing his investment program over coffee.
- Automated Empire, Minimal Hours: Despite handling a business that cycles millions, the episode’s real estate investor reveals that he now works less than 10 hours (truthfully, often less than 5 hours) a week in his business, thanks to automation, virtual assistants, and a rock-solid team structure.
Timestamps:
00:00 Jay Conner’s private money breakthrough
06:29 Regret of not having a mentor
09:59 Line of credit closure news
13:04 Learning about private money lending
15:40 Understanding private money basics
17:28 Understanding private money lending
22:17 Pitching real estate investment referrals
25:28 Setting up a self-directed IRA
29:42 Balancing work and personal life
30:24 Balancing business success and happiness
35:21 Calculating property renovation costs
38:14 Creative financing strategies
41:27 Creative real estate cash flow strategies
45:28 Raising capital without banks
48:50 Like, share, and business assessment
49:55 Episode outro and subscription reminder
Free Report:
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Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at
https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
https://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.
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