Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7yiwVS8bQo&t=37s
“The Private Money System That Funds Deals Without Asking for Money”
https://www.youtube.com/@TheTeamLeadTalksPodcast
If you’re a real estate investor looking to scale your business, you’ve likely realized that access to funding is make-or-break. In a recent episode of the Raising Private Money podcast, Jay Conner—the Private Money authority—and Andrew Becker peeled back the curtain on what it really takes to raise Private Money, even if you’re starting from scratch.
Below, we’ll highlight the main strategies, common pitfalls, and actionable tips shared during their value-packed conversation.
What is Private Money? Setting the Foundation
First, it’s critical to know the difference between Private Money and hard money. Jay Conner explains that Private Money comes directly from individuals—friends, family, or acquaintances—who want a safe, higher return on their idle capital compared to what they’d get from banks or the volatile stock market. These are not institutional lenders, and you’re not chasing “rich people.” Instead, you’re simply identifying everyday people with “lazy” money looking to grow.
A common misconception in the industry is confusing Private Money with hard money. Hard money typically comes from brokers who pool investor funds, add extra fees, and loan at higher rates. With Private Money, you’re creating a direct, one-on-one relationship with your lender, and there are no origination fees or points—just a set interest rate (in Jay Conner’s case, 8% annually since 2009).
The Secret to Raising Private Money: Diagnosis Before Pitch
The biggest mistake new investors make is leading with a deal—trying to “sell” someone before they’ve even shown interest or understand private lending. Jay Conner compares this to a doctor prescribing medication before making a diagnosis. Instead, he recommends first having a diagnosis conversation with potential lenders. Ask open, gentle questions like, “Are you investing in anything that’s giving you a high rate of return safely and securely?”
If their answer reveals dissatisfaction with current returns, only then do you segue into what Private Money is—and crucially, you don’t pitch a deal. Instead, provide value and educate. Jay Conner even suggests using a 16-minute audio overview to let potential lenders understand the process at their own pace.
Program, Not Pitch—The Professional Approach
Another pitfall is not being ready with a clear, written program. When talking to a potential lender, you must be able to articulate your offer: What is the interest rate? How is their money protected? What’s your loan-to-value ratio? Can they get money back early in an emergency? Jay Conner has 20 program points he covers with every new contact. This professionalism sets you apart from amateurs who seem desperate or uncertain.
Building Trust—Leverage and Coaching
If you’re brand new to investing, don’t fret. Jay Conner recommends leveraging a business partner’s or coach’s experience to boost your credibility. Say truthfully, “My partner and I have flipped over 500 homes”—as many in his network do—so your lenders are putting trust in your support system as much as you.
He strongly recommends coaching, recounting that he lost hundreds of thousands of dollars before getting a mentor. In his words, “If you think coaching is expensive, try a different kind of education.” Learning from others’ mistakes is far cheaper and less painful.
Immersion and Action—The Fast Track
Want to get results quickly? Immersion is the answer. Jay Conner offers live, three-day Private Money Conferences, including real bus tours of funded properties and a chance to learn directly from his network: contractors, attorneys, designers, and more. There’s also a bestselling book, “Where to Get the Money Now,” and immediate-download scripts for starting conversations the right way.
Key Takeaways and Next Steps
- Understand the distinction between private and hard money, and always approach individuals as someone offering an opportunity—not pitching a desperate plea.
- Build relationships through diagnostic, low-pressure conversations before mentioning a specific deal.
- Prepare your program: Know your terms, safety protocols, and process in detail before talking to any lender.
- Educate yourself—find a coach or mentor, and immerse yourself in real-world events.
- Take action: Download scripts, read the book, and start having real conversations.
Raising Private Money is less about selling and more about solving problems for people in your network—with professionalism, clarity, and servanthood at the heart of your approach.
For more resources, events, and a free guide, check out Jay Conner’s website as mentioned in the episode.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode
- What are the key differences between Private Money and hard money as explained by Jay Conner, and why is this distinction important for real estate investors?
- Jay Conner emphasizes the importance of “immersion” to raise Private Money quickly. How might immersion strategies like attending live conferences help new investors succeed?
- What are some of the “biggest mistakes” new investors make when trying to raise Private Money, according to Jay Conner, and how can they avoid these pitfalls?
- Jay Conner describes a “Good News phone call script” and separating the conversation about lending from a specific deal. Why does this approach work better than pitching a deal right away?
- Why does Jay Conner stress the importance of not “chasing, begging, or persuading” potential lenders, and what mindset shift does this require for new investors?
- According to Jay Conner, how can new investors leverage the experiences of their coaches or business partners to establish credibility with potential lenders?
- Discuss the metaphor of “lazy money” used by Jay Conner. How does approaching potential lenders as problem-solvers rather than salespeople change Private Money conversations?
- What role do relationship-building and emotional intelligence play in raising Private Money, as compared to real estate expertise?
- Jay Conner offers a sample diagnostic question when talking to potential lenders: “Are you investing in anything that’s giving you a high rate of return safely and securely?” How can this type of casual question open doors to raising capital?
- Reflect on Jay Conner’s statement that the most dangerous advice is “just get the deal under contract, the money will show up.” Why might waiting to find funding until after securing a deal backfire for investors?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- Immersive Learning Experience:
Jay Conner hosts a unique 3-day Private Money Conference where participants not only learn about raising Private Money but also take a field trip on a 55-passenger bus to tour real, active rehab projects—all funded with Private Money. Attendees get to see actual rehab budget sheets and meet Jay Conner’s full “dream team,” including his contractor, real estate attorney, and interior designer. - Never Ask for Money:
Jay Conner teaches a strategy that enables real estate investors to raise large sums of private capital—over $2.1 million in just 90 days after being cut off by banks—without ever directly asking anyone for money. Instead, he emphasizes education and relationship-building to attract funds. - One Luncheon, Nearly $1 Million Raised:
Jay Conner shared that he once hosted a single private lender luncheon and secured $969,000 in Private Money pledges that were not even tied to any specific real estate deals—demonstrating the power of trust and proper presentation.
Timestamps:
00:00 Real estate investing and bus tour
03:11 Introducing Jay Conner
06:55 Private vs. hard money loans
12:56 Discussing loan repayment terms
15:14 Discussing Private Money and real estate
18:57 Discussing Jay’s program offering
21:27 Promoting the bus tour event
23:21 Discussing a Private Money program
26:41 Jay Conner’s Private Money insights
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at
https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
https://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.
What is Real Estate Investing? Live Private Money Academy Conference
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https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner
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https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing
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