Are you a real estate investor struggling to find funding for your deals? You’re not alone. Many aspiring and experienced investors have hit the same wall, believing that it takes money to make money and that a lack of cash flow is the number one obstacle holding back their real estate ambitions. But what if the real problem isn’t the money—it’s how you think about getting it?
That’s the central lesson from a recent episode of the “Raising Private Money” podcast, hosted by Jay Conner and featuring special guest Willie Oyola, a Florida-based investor who has raised over $3 million in private money since joining Jay’s elite mastermind group just three years ago. Willie’s story is proof that the key to funding your real estate deals lies not in who you know, but in what you say and how you say it.
The Road from Banks to Private Lenders
Like many investors, Willie Oyola began his real estate journey with single-family rentals, going the traditional route—20% down payments through banks, slowly burning through his cash reserves. When he started tackling fix-and-flips, hard money lenders became his go-to, but again, the costs and fees added up quickly.
The breakthrough? Private money—capital sourced directly from everyday people, not institutions. Unlike hard money, which often comes through brokers pooling investor funds (and charging hefty fees and high interest), private money is a direct relationship: you, the investor, and an individual lender in your community. These lenders aren’t necessarily wealthy; they’re ordinary folks with some money sitting idle, often in retirement accounts or savings, unhappy with traditional returns.
Mindset Over Mechanics
It’s easy to think that landing private money is all about strategy—networking, pitching, salesmanship. But as Willie Oyola reveals, the real tipping point is mindset. Most investors mistakenly believe they must “pitch” a deal, asking for money and sounding desperate or salesy. Instead, the real game-changer is shifting to an educator’s mindset—sharing the opportunity, teaching others about your process, and letting the right people gravitate towards your offer.
“You’re not asking for money at all,” explains Willie Oyola. “You have to position things differently—don’t talk about a deal at all, even if you have one in mind. Focus on your program, not your need.” When you approach conversations this way, you sound confident and in control—not like someone who’s scrambling for cash.
The Private Money Advantage
What makes private lending so attractive, both for the investor and the lender? For starters, the terms are dictated by you, the borrower, not the lender or a faceless bank. Lenders get bank-level security, with their investment secured against real estate via recorded mortgages, promissory notes, and title insurance—the same way a bank protects its loans. No profit splits, no surprise losses, just a reliable, predictable rate of return.
It’s a win-win. Private lenders get a higher, more stable return than stocks or mutual funds, and they get the peace of mind that comes with knowing their investment is backed by real property, not paper. Meanwhile, you get to grow your business without personal guarantees, credit checks, or mountains of paperwork.
Growing Your Network—The Right Way
Worried that you don’t know enough wealthy people? That’s another myth. Most of Willie Oyola’s lenders were referrals, friends of friends, or people he met by getting involved in local organizations like BNI or community business groups. The secret is to “go where the money is”—becoming active in your community and expanding your circle, while leading with curiosity and service.
When asked how he starts conversations about private lending, Willie Oyola keeps it simple and intriguing: “I teach people how to get high rates of return safely and securely.” The goal isn’t to sell, but to spark curiosity and plant seeds for future partnerships.
Securing the Future—for Everyone
Private money is not just about funding your deals—it’s about creating lasting relationships where everyone benefits. As Willie Oyola says, “Banks don’t own real estate; they loan on it. Now you—and your lenders—can do the same.”
If you’re ready to move past the limiting belief that you “don’t have the money” for your next deal, maybe it’s time to shift your mindset, master the art of sharing opportunity, and unlock the power of private money. The next conversation you start could change your business—and someone else’s financial future—for good.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode
- What are the main differences between hard money and private money lending, as explained by Willie Oyola in this episode?
- According to Willie Oyola, why is mindset considered the biggest factor in successfully raising private money?
- How does Willie Oyola recommend positioning conversations about private money, and why is separating the “deal” from the “opportunity” important?
- What strategies did Willie Oyola use to expand his network and find private lenders beyond his immediate circle?
- How does Willie Oyola address the concern of not knowing wealthy people or having a large network when starting to raise private money?
- What are some key points Willie Oyola makes about protecting private lenders’ investments, and how does he structure deals to provide security?
- In what ways does private money lending compare to traditional banking from the perspective of lender protection and return, as discussed in the episode?
- How did Willie Oyola’s real estate investing journey begin, and what role did private money play in scaling his business?
- What are the advantages of using a self-directed IRA for private lending, and how did Willie Oyola educate his lenders about this strategy?
- What advice does Willie Oyola give for starting conversations about private money without seeming like you are “chasing” or “begging” for funds?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- Not All Private Lenders Drive Flashy Cars: One of Willie Oyola’s most successful private lenders surprised him by arriving in a rickety pickup truck. Despite appearances, this individual had significant funds to invest, proving that wealth doesn’t always come dressed up.
- Ordinary People Make Extraordinary Lenders: The episode reveals that most private lenders come from everyday backgrounds—many are not wealthy elites but regular folks with so-called “lazy money” sitting idle in savings or retirement accounts.
- You Set the Rules, Not the Lender: Contrary to popular belief, private real estate investors like Willie Oyola set their own lending terms—including interest rates and payment schedules—rather than having lenders dictate the rules, which is the opposite of traditional loan arrangements.
Timestamps:
00:00 Raising millions in private money
06:29 Importance of mindset shift
09:51 Private lending misconception debunked
13:07 Networking and building connections
14:48 Starting Conversations at Networking Events
18:59 Real estate investment security
22:47 Investing with a self-directed IRA
25:07 Discussing private lender strategies
27:20 Connect with Willie Oyola
https://www.instagram.com/willieoyola/
30:05 Sharing the podcast and subscribing
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at
https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
https://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.
What is Real Estate Investing? Live Private Money Academy Conference
YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner
Apple Podcasts:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing
Listen to Our Podcast:
Comments