Attracting private money is critical for real estate investors, yet the process can seem intimidating, especially for those just getting started. In a recent episode of “Raising Private Money,” Jay Conner, together with several mastermind members, shared powerful insights and practical strategies that demystify the process and highlight the true keys to success.
Focus on Service, Not Convincing
A common stumbling block for new investors is the idea that you need to convince private lenders to invest. Crystal immediately reframed this notion, emphasizing that the goal isn’t to chase or persuade anyone. Instead, she explained that building relationships through education and serving is the heart of attracting private money. When you stop chasing and start focusing on teaching others about the opportunity and protecting their interests, you naturally become someone lenders trust—and want—to work with.
You Don’t Need Years of Experience
Lack of experience is one of the main worries for new investors. Chaffee addressed this by explaining that even those who haven’t closed a single deal can successfully attract lenders. The secret lies in using a proven system—like Jay Conner’s—that offers structure, safety, and clarity for both parties. By plugging into experienced mentorship, utilizing transparent systems, and leaning on the credibility of mentors and team members, even a brand-new investor can present themselves with confidence. This collaborative approach allows lenders to feel secure, knowing there is a knowledgeable team supporting each deal.
Private Lenders vs. Bank Financing
The panel also touched on the difference between relying on banks and developing relationships with private lenders. Scott pointed out that banks can pull their approvals unexpectedly, derailing deals and business growth. Private lenders, on the other hand, offer flexibility and speed, especially crucial in a competitive or tightening market. The panel stressed that nurturing a small group of reliable lenders is the true “secret sauce,” offering investors security and a powerful edge.
Real-World Prospecting Tactics
One of the mastermind members, Jeff, shared real-world tactics he’s used to find and attract private lenders. He started by reaching out to known private lenders via email and letter, proactively introducing himself to people at church, joining local investment and Christian organizations, and speaking at community events. His approach centered on teaching people how private lending works and demonstrating how it could benefit them, rather than just pitching for money.
Chaffee expanded on this, emphasizing the importance of being visible and broadening your network. He recommended joining networking groups like the Rotary Club, Business Network International, or local business organizations to meet and serve more people. Getting involved and being genuinely helpful establishes credibility and attracts referrals naturally.
Build Relationships with Community Influencers
The panel recommended going a step beyond general networking and building connections with key influencers in your community. Scheduling coffee or lunch with attorneys, CPAs, or local government officials—not to sell, but to learn about their work and share yours—positions you as a connector and resource. As you develop these relationships, your reputation grows, and people begin to talk about you and recommend you to others. That’s when you shift from seeking lenders to attracting them.
Make Consistent and Persistent Action Your Habit
Jay Conner rounded out the discussion by emphasizing the core takeaway: consistency and persistence. It’s not enough to take sporadic action—you need to show up, network, educate, and provide value on an ongoing basis. Make a clear, intentional plan for what activities you’ll do every week to grow your list of private lenders and follow through, no matter the immediate result. Success in this business comes from persistent effort and building a reputation as a knowledgeable, helpful leader.
In Summary
Raising private money isn’t about slick sales tactics or years of experience. It’s about consistent relationship-building, education, and serving others. Focus on becoming an expert resource, connect with your community, and take small, persistent actions every week. Over time, your efforts compound, and the right private lenders will seek you out—helping you skyrocket your real estate investing success.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode
- What are some actionable steps you can take consistently and persistently to attract private money, as emphasized by Jay Conner?
- According to Crystal and Chaffee, what are the key differences between syndication and using separate notes for each private lender on a deal?
- How do you determine the ideal number of private lenders to involve in a single project, and what are the potential drawbacks of including too many, based on the conversation between Crystal and Chaffee?
- Why do Crystal and Chaffee stress the importance of serving and educating potential private money lenders instead of “convincing” them?
- What role does having a proven system or process play in attracting private lenders, even for new investors, according to Chaffee?
- How can leveraging bank money (e.g., through HELOCs) be used to make money in real estate, and what cautions did the speakers, especially Chaffee, suggest?
- Jay Conner and Crystal discuss the importance of asking the right questions when raising private money. How can shifting your focus from “finding” to “attracting” private lenders impact your results?
- Why is setting up a trust account not essential for attracting private lenders, as explained by Jay Conner?
- What networking strategies did Jeff share to expand his pool of potential private lenders, and what additional suggestions were given by Chaffee?
- According to the episode, how important are consistency and persistence in the process of raising private money, and what practical activities did Jay Conner and others recommend to support these qualities?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- Single vs. Multiple Lenders
Having multiple private lenders on a single real estate project isn’t as complicated as many think. Each lender can have their own separate note and deed of trust or mortgage, listed in priority order (first, second, third position, etc.), and there’s actually no legal limit to the number of private lenders you can have on a project—though working with fewer is often easier and more cost-effective. - No Convincing Required
A key philosophy shared is not to “convince” anyone to lend you private money. Instead, the approach is about educating, serving, and presenting opportunities—so lenders can reach their own conclusions without pressure. - Consistency is King
Consistently and persistently taking action is highlighted as the secret sauce to attracting private money. Whether it’s networking, educating potential lenders, or building relationships with community influencers, the most important question to ask is, “What am I doing consistently and persistently to attract private money?”
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