Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6DC3SMYHd4
“Private Money vs. Hard Money: A Better Way to Fund Real Estate Deals with Jay Conner ”
https://www.youtube.com/@StephenLeeThomas
In real estate investing, one of the biggest obstacles isn’t always finding the perfect deal—it’s securing the funding to make it happen. Traditional advice often tells ambitious investors, especially those just starting, something along the lines of: “Just put a deal under contract, and the money will show up,” or “Money finds good deals.” But as this podcast episode featuring Jay Conner and Stephen Lee-Thomas dives into, there’s a smarter, less stressful approach: lead with education, not persuasion, and let Private Money come to you.
Why Private Money Rocks the Real Estate World
For years, Jay Conner and his wife Carol Joy financed their real estate transactions the conventional way: via unsecured lines of credit at local banks. That worked until 2009, when a sudden call from their banker closed that door overnight because of the global financial crisis. Like so many investors, Jay Conner found himself suddenly shut off from the traditional funding sources he depended on.
Out of necessity, he asked himself a critical question: “Who, not how, can help me?” That pivotal moment led him to discover the world of Private Money—a method of raising funds directly from individuals looking for higher, safer returns on their capital or retirement accounts, rather than from institutional lenders. Suddenly, a problem became an opportunity. And over the next several years, Jay Conner and Carol Joy attracted funding from 47 ordinary people, none of whom had ever heard of private lending or self-directed IRAs before.
Education Over Sales: The Indirect Approach
What’s the secret to Jay Conner’s Private Money success? It’s not about pushing, selling, or convincing. Instead, he wears what he calls the “Private Money Teacher” hat—educating those in his network about how private lending works and the safe, attractive returns they can achieve. He never asks for money directly. He simply shares the opportunity and lets interest develop naturally.
One of his most powerful tactics is the “indirect method.” Here’s how it works: Jay Conner asks influential friends if they know anyone dissatisfied with their current returns at the bank or losing money in the stock market. By leading with a genuine request for help rather than a sales pitch, curiosity and interest are piqued. It’s a low-pressure approach that often turns his contacts into eager investors themselves.
As Stephen Lee-Thomas echoes on the episode, the best time to raise capital is before you have a deal. The worst? When you desperately need money to close—because, as Jay Conner humorously notes, “desperation has a smell to it.” Educate, build relationships, and let the money “chase you.”
Private Money vs. Hard Money: Know the Difference
There’s often confusion between Private Money and hard money, but the distinction is important:
- Private Money: Comes from individuals, usually from their own savings or retirement accounts, looking for better yields. The terms are flexible, the rates are typically lower, and you—yes, you—set the terms. No applications, no credit checks, no expensive fees. And if you’re educating rather than selling, you become a trusted resource.
- Hard Money: Usually comes from brokers or lenders operating funds pooled from multiple investors. Interest rates are higher, terms are strict, and a slew of fees and underwriting comes with the territory. They make the rules—you play by them.
Build Confidence, Build Capital
Jay Conner’s advice for new investors is simple but profound: adopt the right mindset. See yourself as a teacher, not a beggar. When you genuinely help others unlock new, safe, high-yielding investment opportunities, you’ll be perceived as an expert, and Private Money will follow.
If you want to accelerate your learning, Jay Conner offers in-person “Private Money Conference” events, where attendees learn NOT just scripts but the mindset, confidence, and relationship-building skills that turn ordinary conversations into funding opportunities.
The Bottom Line
Raising capital isn’t about chasing or persuading. It’s about educating, empowering, and building authentic relationships. Private lenders need real estate investors as much as investors need them. Start seeing yourself as a teacher and a connector, and you’ll be surprised how quickly funding finds you—before you even need it.
Ready to learn more? Visit Jay Conner’s website and start your own journey into Private Money mastery.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode
- How did Jay Conner initially begin his journey into real estate investing, and what catalyzed his transition to Private Money funding?
- What is the main difference between Private Money and hard money, according to Jay Conner?
- Why does Jay Conner believe that “desperation has a smell to it” when it comes to raising Private Money?
- What strategies does Jay Conner recommend for starting a conversation about private lending without coming off as needy or salesy?
- How does Jay Conner’s “indirect method” for attracting private lenders work, and why does he find it effective?
- What role does mindset play in successfully raising Private Money, based on Jay Conner’s experience?
- How does the educational approach to sharing investment opportunities benefit both the investor and the potential private lender?
- Why is it important to line up capital before securing a real estate deal, according to the conversation between Jay Conner and Stephen Lee-Thomas?
- What are the risks and rewards of using Private Money compared to more conventional forms of financing in real estate?
- What actionable steps can someone new to real estate investing take to start building relationships with potential private lenders, as suggested in this episode?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- $2.15 Million Raised Without Pitching a Deal
Jay Conner shared that he raised $2,150,000 in new funding for real estate deals by simply educating people in his network about private lending, never formally pitching a deal or asking for money directly. - First Private Lender Doubled Their Commitment Over Coffee
During his first conversation using the “indirect method,” Jay Conner was initially offered $250,000, but after explaining the private lending opportunity and enjoying two cups of coffee, the lender upped their offer to $500,000. - Nearly $1 Million Raised from One Luncheon
By hosting his first Private Lender Luncheon for 20 people, Jay Conner raised $969,000 in funding from attendees, all without having any deals attached at the time.
Timestamps:
00:00 Discovering private lending opportunities
04:55 Facing a credit line closure
07:52 Discovering Private Money real estate
13:04 Attracting Private Money lenders
15:48 Leveraging local connections for referrals
19:36 Timing for raising capital
23:31 Building investor relationships
26:29 Successful real estate money raising
28:35 Explaining hard money lending
33:02 Shifting mindset for raising funds
33:55 Gaining confidence through education
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at
https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
https://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.
What is Real Estate Investing? Live Private Money Academy Conference
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