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Building Trust and Networks for Successful Private Money Lending



Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDDAufBdC6A&t=24s                                                               

“How to Fund Real Estate Deals Without Banks with Jay Conner | Ideas & Capital Show Ep 18”

https://www.youtube.com/@TylerCaseyShow     

The conversation focused on demystifying the often misunderstood world of private money versus hard money in real estate investing. One concept discussed was the common confusion between private money and hard money lenders, often perpetuated by hard money lenders marketing themselves under the “private money” label. In reality, these are distinct financing routes, and understanding the difference can give investors a critical edge.

Hard Money vs. Private Money—What’s the Difference?

A key theme that emerged was the clear distinction between hard money and private money. Hard money lenders are generally brokers of capital: they pool funds from individuals, offer those investors a fixed return (often about 8%), and then lend that money to real estate investors at a higher rate, adding origination points and various fees. The investor, in turn, faces steeper costs and usually a rigid framework for borrowing.

Private money, on the other hand, is all about a direct transaction between the borrower and the lender—two individuals working together. There are no brokers, no points, and often far more favorable terms, with the negotiation happening one-on-one. The discussion explored how this approach can fundamentally change an investor’s ability to move quickly, negotiate better deals, and maximize profit, as evidenced by years of successful investments funded entirely via private money.

How to Attract Private Money: Mindset and Methodology

Several points were raised, including the vital role of mindset when raising private money. It all starts with believing in the value you offer—not chasing or begging for money, but presenting an opportunity. The approach is not about selling or pitching, but about education. Prospective private lenders—often ordinary people with “lazy money” sitting in savings accounts or underperforming retirement funds—usually have never been exposed to private lending as an investment strategy.

The discussion explored practical steps to attract private money:

  1. Lead with Education: Rather than asking for money outright, share how private lending works—what safety measures are in place, the typical interest rate paid (often an 8% annual percentage rate), and how their investment is secured by real estate, just like a bank holds a mortgage.
  2. Present a Clear Opportunity: Articulate the standard terms, such as loan-to-value ratio (commonly 75% of after-repair value), duration, and payment structure. Transparency builds trust and makes the opportunity accessible, even to those new to this world.
  3. Tap Into Your Existing Network: The conversation outlined three powerful sources of private capital: your own warm network (friends, family, social and professional circles), your expanded network, and existing private lenders. Building relationships and trust is the foundation—money follows trust.

The Real Power: Flexibility, Simplicity, and Opportunity

A key takeaway was the power that private money gives an investor: turning upside down the conventional wisdom that “the lender makes all the rules.” In private money transactions, the borrower often sets the terms—interest rate, payment frequency, and duration—because they are offering a unique opportunity that most people have never heard of. This dynamic flips the traditional power balance and can accelerate deal flow and confidence for investors.

Importantly, the discussion explored how private lending is not restricted to accredited investors, since asset-backed debt is directly negotiated and not governed by SEC regulations that apply to syndications or equity deals. This means anyone—from a teacher to a janitor—can participate as a private lender, putting their money to work at rates far superior to those offered in conventional savings or CDs.

Building a Scalable Model

Another insight shared was the scalability of this approach—not only using private money to fund one’s own deals, but building a network where excess capital can be matched with other trusted operators. The relationship between investor and lender is key, and educating people about private lending can lead to a compounding expansion of opportunity as word spreads via referrals.

Final Thoughts

For both seasoned investors and those just starting, the world of private money offers a direct, flexible, and often more profitable alternative to costly and impersonal hard money loans. By focusing on education, relationship-building, and a win-win proposition, real estate entrepreneurs can unlock new levels of freedom, speed, and possibility in their businesses.

If you’re interested in learning more or deepening your private money skills, events and resources mentioned in the episode offer a powerful starting point for anyone ready to take control of their real estate funding journey.

10 Discussion Questions from this Episode

  1. The conversation focused on the distinction between hard money and private money. Why do many real estate investors confuse these two funding sources, and what are the key differences discussed in the episode?
  2. One concept discussed was the use of self-directed IRAs as a tool for real estate investing. What benefits and challenges are associated with educating potential lenders about self-directed IRAs and private lending?
  3. A key theme that emerged was the importance of mindset in attracting private money, rather than chasing it. How does shifting your perspective from seeking to offering opportunities change the dynamic of raising capital?
  4. The discussion explored strategies for presenting a private lending opportunity to your social, professional, and service circles. Which of these networks might be the most receptive to private money offers, and why?
  5. Several points were raised, including the importance of separating conversations about funding from conversations about specific deals. What are the advantages of securing funds before finding a property versus finding a property first?
  6. The episode addressed why private lenders are often satisfied with an 8% return. Given current market conditions, why does this offer appeal strongly to individuals unfamiliar with private lending?
  7. Trust and relationships were emphasized as foundational for successful private lending. What steps can investors take to establish and maintain trust with their lenders, especially when working with people outside their immediate network?
  8. The idea of leveraging capital and “bringing home a check at closing” was discussed. How does this approach to funding impact the cash flow and scalability of a real estate investing operation?
  9. The conversation delved into the regulatory environment for private money versus syndicated funds. In what ways do these regulations impact who can lend and how investors can raise funds?
  10. The discussion highlighted the need for investors to continually grow their networks and seek referrals. What strategies were suggested for network expansion, and how might involvement in groups like Business Networking International help?

Fun facts that were revealed in the episode: 

  1. Private vs. Hard Money Confusion
    The conversation focused on the frequent confusion between hard money and private money among real estate investors; a key theme that emerged was that many hard money lenders market themselves as “private money lenders,” but in reality, most are simply brokers who raise money from individuals and loan it out to investors at higher rates, unlike genuine private money, which is a direct transaction between borrower and lender.
  2. No Credit Checks or Applications Needed
    One concept discussed was that in the world of private money, there are no traditional loan applications, credit score requirements, or underwriting by the lender. Instead, deals are based on relationships and asset-backed notes, meaning if you are listening to the podcast, “you’re already approved”.
  3. $2 Million Raised Without Asking
    The discussion explored the idea of “attracting rather than chasing money.” It was noted that after learning about private lending, over $2,150,000 in new private money was raised within 90 days—without ever pitching, selling, begging, or directly asking anyone for money.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introducing Jay Conner on Capital Raising

04:51 Discovering private money options

08:31 Protecting investors with real estate

12:03 Getting private money for deals

14:36 Flexible loan terms for property flipping

17:08 Discussing Investment Strategies

22:32 Growing your business network

25:20 Investing for higher returns

26:49 Investment accessibility for regular folks

30:16 Private Money Conference details 






Private Money Academy Conference:

https://www.JaysLiveEvent.com

Free Report:

https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport

Join the Private Money Academy: 

https://www.JayConner.com/trial/

Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?

It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at

https://www.JayConner.com/Book 

What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner

https://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. He maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal without using his money or credit.

What is Real Estate Investing? Live Private Money Academy Conference

https://youtu.be/QyeBbDOF4wo

YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/private-money-academy-real-estate-investing-with-jay/id1377723034

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing

Listen to Our Podcast:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2025961/episodes/20018928-building-trust-and-networks-for-successful-private-money-lending

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